Introduction to Positive Parenting
Parenting can make us think about the kind of relationship we want to have with our child and our parenting priorities and how to avoid mistakes in the upbringing that are often a result of personal experiences and family life. Most parents, when raising their children, rely on their own instincts or personal experiences that can sometimes help. When a parent makes mistakes in the upbringing of his/her children, it is not because of lack of love, but because of lack of knowledge of more effective forms of upbringing. Mistakes made due to lack of knowledge are often related to information and knowledge of the parent that are helpful but can sometimes be misleading.
Positive parenting is when the parent acts in the interest of the child, treats the child in a non-violent manner, recognizes and respects his/her rights, guides him/her, shows him/her a lot of love but also sets boundaries in order to enable his/her full development.
Parenting is taught. It is like starting a new profession, like traveling with a child for a lifetime, so it is important to get to know the traveler with whom you will travel through life Make the trip a pleasure for you and parenting as a profession a challenge with daily successes.
Positive parenting is based on five basic principles:
- 1. Connection
- 2. Respect
- 3. Proactive parenting
- 4. Empathetic leadership
- 5. Positive discipline
A relationship is based on anattachment and has its own biochemical level in development. The connection also has an impact on:
– the way we will build our future relationships and relations;
– strengthening or reducing our ability to be focused, awareness of our own feelings and how to stay grounded;
– developing the ability to overcome personal failures as well as life problems
Positive parenting represents love, empathy, respect for the child’s personality, and establishing rules and boundaries for long-term solutions.
Research shows that children who receive adequate love and have a caring parent are more likely to develop the part of the brain (hippocampus) that is responsible for memory, learning and coping with stress. So, when the parent is caring and being positive, it has a positive impact on the development of the child’s brain.
3. Proactive parenting
The reactive parent is impulsive, while the proactive parent controls his or her own reactions and behavior. The proactive parent plans in advance how to react in a given situation. . His reactions are controlled and in accordance with the developmental needs of the child, which allows him to successfully deal with problems depending on the situation.
4. Empathetic leadership
An empathetic parent understands the child’s needs and helps him/her to feel loved, heard and understood. At the same time, the parent adheres to the established boundaries and rules. The parent’s attitude towards the child responds to the child’s need for love, emotional warmth, security, belonging, connection and acceptance. The child needs the care of the parent as a reliable base from which it can explore the world and return to when he or she experiences fatigue, sadness, fear, or some other unpleasant state or emotion. Empathetic does not mean lenient parent, because the empathetic parent still has a leading role in the parent-child relationship. In fact, it would be a great pity for the child not to have a competent leader, who would guide him/her through the journey to the big, new and unknown world. This competent leader is exactly the empathetic parent.
5. Positive discipline
The purpose of positive discipline is to teach the child how to control impulses and behavior, how to learn new skills, how to correct mistakes and build problem-solving mechanisms in communication with the parent.
Communication in positive parenting takes place through praise and rewards for the child’s desired behavior, while ignoring the unwanted behavior in situations where the child does not endanger his or her health and life.
Children should be encouraged to take responsibility through positive communication. The independence of the child and his development into an autonomous person, a person with his/her own values and attitudes is the goal of responsible and positive parenting. The importance of a sense of belonging, security, connection, acceptance, emotional warmth, adequate communication with the child through leadership, and setting boundaries by the adult will help the parent through short-term to achieve long-term goals in childcare and upbringing. In doing so, the child will develop their own model of values, problem-solving skills, but at the same time acceptable behavior and discipline.
Disciplineis a use of parenting tools to teach children self-control. Self-control is simply the ability to control activities regardless of external events. However, discipline is more about having a real connection, attachment, attachment with the child, than having the right discipline techniques.
Discipline is a learning process, it can be implemented only when we are calm and when we are able to have control over our thoughts, emotions, i.e. to be in harmony and in contact with what is happening in your body. Behavior to be under the control of the conscious and volitional mechanisms of the body.
Positive discipline can be applied in four steps:
- 1. Make sure children understand the rules and the possible consequences of breaking them;
- 2. Help children learn how to make decisions that help them adhere to the rules, and at the same time have them do things they enjoy doing, stimulate the learning process and encourage their creativity;
- 3. Children understand that the consequences originate from non-compliance with the rules, if necessary. Always check and analyze the rules with the child and expect the expectations before applying the consequences.
- 4. Establish a relationship by doing relationship building activities. Take a walk together. Go for ice cream. Read a book.
In conclusion, positive parenting is the creation of a positive and supportive environment in which the main dominant feeling is the love that allows children to grow and develop into adults who, when they become parents, will be able to pass on those same tools to the next generation.
You can read more about positive parenting here.